omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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