i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
