The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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