Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
