The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
