Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
