you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
