listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
