it was like eating out sand paper
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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