he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
