if you like me you must not know who I am
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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