youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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