I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
