4 words: hood of his car
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
