She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
