You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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