Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
