I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
