So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
