Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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