I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
