Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
