check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I met the friendliest cop last night
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Randomize
