in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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