its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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