Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
