I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
