I want to make a zoo with you.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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