I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
