So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
