Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
