In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
