We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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