We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
