You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
