i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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