If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
