the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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