he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
