A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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