Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
