fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
