last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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