I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
