Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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