If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
