I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
