Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
don't judge my taste in strippers
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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