But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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