Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
