Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
