Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
