If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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