You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
