my phone needs a breathalizer
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
In America we eat man semen.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
