He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
